


Butterfly Grave

by nanamousse



Category: Dae Guk Nam Ah | The Boss
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Drama, Healing, M/M, Moving On, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-01
Updated: 2012-03-01
Packaged: 2020-06-26 09:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19765360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanamousse/pseuds/nanamousse
Summary: Park Hyunchul had to face letting go and opening up his heart.





	Butterfly Grave

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Take's "Butterfly Grave." Written in 2012.

They went to Seoul for a three-day school trip. It was enjoyable as they also got the chance to explore the city. It's not like they could go to Seoul anytime they want anyway. However, the three days were up, and all of them boarded their bus back to Daegu. It was a quiet ride. Everyone was dead tired, and it was already late evening. Some students were chatting softly with each other while the rest were asleep.

Just then, the bus driver, conductor, and teachers began to panic. Everything happened too fast. One moment he was sleeping on Suhoon's shoulder at the back of the bus when all of the sudden Suhoon urgently pulled him and embraced him as tightly as he could. He wanted to ask what is wrong, but he suddenly heard screaming as the bus began to tumble down.

Terrified, Hyunchul brought his hands to cling on Suhoon's sides as he shut his eyes. He wished he could block all the noise around him. Fortunately, Suhoon came to his aid, whispering, "Hold on tight, everything's going to be alright. You're going to be fine..."

After what seemed like forever, the bus finally stopped from rolling down. Moreover, luck must have still been on their side as the bus landed upright. Hyunchul opened his eyes. He could hear the other people groaning as they try to recover from what had happened. Looking up to tell Suhoon that he was okay and that he could let go of him now, Hyunchul's eyes widened in shock as he saw that Suhoon was bleeding very badly. Freeing himself from Suhoon arms, Hyunchul gently cradled Suhoon's head in his hands. "Suhoon, wake up," Hyunchul begged as he caressed Suhoon's face softly, "please, open your eyes."

Opening his eyes faintly, Suhoon surveyed Hyunchul's face and smiled. "Are you...are you...alright?" he asked, worried.

Hyunchul nodded his head as he began to cry.

"Don't...cry, I hate seeing....you cry..." Suhoon told Hyunchul as he closed his eyes again, "I love you...I love you...very much..."

"No, no, no," Hyunchul said, panicking, "don't close your eyes, please. Suhoon, open them!"

Unfortunately, Suhoon didn't seem to hear his cries.

Wiping his tears, Hyunchul turned to the front, and yelled, "Help! Help, please!!!"

One of the teachers rushed toward him and saw Suhoon's condition. "Oh my God!" he gasped as he checked Suhoon's weak pulse.

"Help him, songsaeng-nim, let's take him to a hospital now!" Hyunchul said, desperately.

"We will, Hyunchul, the rescuers are on their way," the teacher assured the young boy, "try to wake him up, I'll try to get out of bus so I can direct them here and take care of Suhoon right away."

Hyunchul nodded in understanding and turned back to Suhoon. He begged for him to wake up repeatedly, but Suhoon remained unconscious even when the rescuers brought him to a hospital.

* * *

_Standing beside you as you sleep_  
_Wipe my tears as I close the door_  
_Even if I call out, there's no reply_  
_Please call out to me_

* * *

"Here's our homework for today, they're getting fewer, I guess because the school year is already ending," Hyunchul said as he placed three notebooks on Suhoon's bedside table, "we're going to start the graduation practices in soon, would you be able to join us by then?"

Hyunchul turned to Suhoon and the smile he forced himself to wear disappeared entirely. He slumped down beside Suhoon and took one of his hands. Suhoon had been in a coma since the accident three months ago. His family decided to release him from the hospital and hire a private nurse. They believed that sleeping in his bed, inside his room would be better for their son. However, there was still no difference – Suhoon was still on life support. His family already considered pulling it out, but they thought that it was still too early and things could always happen.

After the accident, Hyunchul stayed by Suhoon's side for a week. However, his and Suhoon's parents convinced him to go back to school. He reluctantly agreed after they told him that he could visit Suhoon as often as he liked. Thus, every after school, Hyunchul would go straight to Suhoon's house and stay until before dinner time. He would leave their lectures and homework and tell Suhoon about school.

"When are you going to wake up, Suhoon?" Hyunchul asked, tears filling up his eyes. He had been asking Suhoon the same question every single day. He was aware that Suhoon wouldn't simply open his eyes and greet him "hello," but he couldn't help but hope for a miracle. The doctors said Suhoon had severely damaged his head during the accident, so only time could tell when Suhoon would regain his consciousness. They couldn't even promise that he would wake up the way he was before.

"I miss you so much, Suhoon," Hyunchul said, gently lying beside Suhoon and wrapping his arms around the other boy, "I'm forgetting to eat lunch because no one's dragging me to the cafeteria, I also forget a lot of stuff because no one reminds me of things anymore..." he continued, crying, "please, come back already...I need you...I don't know how long I can continue without you..."

* * *

_I know that you're not going to say anything_  
_And I know that you won't be able to_  
_However, I quietly open my ears and still pace around your home_  
_In case you might say something_

* * *

"Mr. Lee and Mrs. Lee, I'm going home now," Hyunchul said as he got down the stairs.

"Wait a moment, Hyunchul, we want to discuss something with you," Mr. Lee said, standing up from the couch to lead the young boy to the living room with them.

"What is it, Mr. Lee?" Hyunchul asked, looking at Suhoon's parents.

The couple exchanged looks with each other and sighed. Mr. Lee turned back to Hyunchul and said, "Your parents said that you're going to Kyungpook National University?"

Hyunchul nodded his head to confirm the information.

"I went to your school this morning, Hyunchul," Mrs. Lee told the young boy, smiling painfully, "I informed the headmaster that Suhoon wouldn't be joining the graduation."

Shocked, Hyunchul asked, "But, Mrs. Lee –"

"It may be unpleasant, but we're trying to keep things real, Hyunchul," Mr. Lee explained, sadly, "we don't think Suhoon would make it in time...so, to make things convenient, we told the headmaster that we'll enroll Suhoon next school year or whenever he would decide to wake up."

"But that's not what we want to discuss with you," Mrs. Lee said, looking intently at Hyunchul.

"What is it?" Hyunchul asked, nervously.

"The post at the entrance of your school, Hyunchul," Mrs. Lee told him, knowing that Hyunchul would already understand what she and her husband would want to say.

Hyunchul froze. Of course, Mrs. Lee would see the huge banner in front of their school. It had been there for a week already. Seoul National University announced the results of their entrance exam, and he was one of the passers. However, it was not just him. Suhoon and some others from their school also made it.

"Seoul-dae is the number one school in this country, Hyunchul," Mr. Lee said, leaning back on his seat, "why aren't you going to study there?"

Taking a deep breath, Hyunchul flashed a smile at Mr. Lee, and said, "I know that, Mr. Lee, but KNU is not that bad. They also provide quality education, and I think it's going to be more convenient for me since I won't have to rent a place and live away from my family."

"Don't smile at us like that, Hyunchul," Mr. Lee told him, making Hyunchul look down the floor. "I'm sorry...but I wasn't being rude or anything... I'm sorry –"

"Who said anything about you being rude?" Mr. Lee asked, chuckling.

Hyunchul looked up at the older man, confused.

"Suhoon once told us that you have a charming smile," Mr. Lee said, reminiscing, "but your smile can be painful if it's not genuine. It's the reason why he wants to make you happy as much as possible."

Not knowing that Suhoon had talked to his father about him in such a way, Hyunchul smiled a real smile.

"Now, that's better," Mrs. Lee commented, admiring the young boy in front of her.

"Go to Seoul-dae, Hyunchul," Mr. Lee told him, seriously, "it's obvious that Suhoon's the reason why you're planning to stay here. My son won't want that. He knows how much you wanted to go to Seoul-dae," he added, leaning forward, "he would be disappointed if you put your dreams aside because of him...he doesn't like pulling people down with him."

"But, Mr. Lee –"

"Hyunchul..." Mrs. Lee began as she sat beside Hyunchul to wrap her arms around him, "you're still young, and there are still a lot of things in store for you... don't put your life on hold just because of another person..."

"But Suhoon's not just another person," Hyunchul said, looking at Suhoon's mother with pleading eyes, "you should know that...he's your son."

Tears have started to fall from Mrs. Lee's eyes as she could feel the amount of pain Hyunchul was feeling at that moment. Cupping Hyunchul's face with her hands, Mrs. Lee said, "Listen to me, Hyunchul. Suhoon loves you very much, and we know that you love him just as much but –"

"You don't want me to see Suhoon, do you?" Hyunchul asked, shocking both of Suhoon's parents, "I know it's my fault, I'm sorry...if it weren't for me, he wouldn't be in such a condition right now...if he didn't worry about me...if he didn't protect me..."

"Shhhhh, stop it now, Hyunchul," Mrs. Lee hushed, wrapping the young boy in her arms, "we're not blaming you for what happened to Suhoon, no one's blaming you... it's not your fault, Hyunchul, you didn't do anything wrong."

"We can't thank you enough for always being here with Suhoon, Hyunchul..." Mr. Lee said, sighing, "if only I could, I would wake Suhoon up just for you but I'm just human, it's not in my hands..." he added, frowning, "I know we have to stay positive, but we also must prepare ourselves if the unwanted happens."

* * *

_It might be that when I think about how you used to smile at me_  
_I begin to forget you_

* * *

Hyunchul sat on Suhoon's window sill as he stared at the owner of the room, who was still lying on the bed, unconscious.

"Graduation was depressing, Suhoon, even though I graduated as the top student of our year," Hyunchul began, blankly, "I almost didn't make my speech...speaking in front of people wasn't the same when you're not among them..." he continued, walking toward the bed, "you said you love to watch me when I go up the stage, right? Why didn't you watch me yesterday, then? You promised that you're not going to miss not a single speech I will make...but why did you miss yesterday's?" he asked, kneeling beside the bed and taking Suhoon's hand with his, "I was really hoping that you would wake up yesterday...I was hoping that you're going to be in the crowd...but you weren't there...you lied to me..."

Hyunchul buried his face on Suhoon's bed sheets and sobbed. He knew that he hoped for too much. He wished for the impossible even though he knew things didn't work like that. However, he was desperate. Desperate to spend time with the person he loved the most. Desperate to talk to the person that he knew would listen to everything he had to say. Desperate to feel the arms where he belonged. Desperate to kiss the lips that stole his first kiss.

Looking up to Suhoon, Hyunchul wiped the tears off his eyes, and asked, "Suhoon, when are you going to wake up? I'm leaving for Seoul tomorrow, aren't you going to say 'goodbye'? Aren't you going to make me a list of the things that I shouldn't forget? Aren't you...aren't you going to come with me? We're supposed to go to Seoul-dae together, right? Why aren't you coming with me? Why, Suhoon...?"

_"Wait!" Hyunchul yelled toward the boy who was walking down the stairs of their school entrance._

_Suhoon turned to the direction of the voice and smiled to see Hyunchul running toward him. "What is it, Hyunchul?" he asked the moment the smaller boy was already standing before him._

_Catching up with his breath, Hyunchul said in his a matter-of-fact tone, "You withdrew your candidacy for the student council secretary."_

_Confused, Suhoon cocked his head to the side and replied, "Yes, I did?"_

_"Why?" Hyunchul asked, demanding._

_Suhoon grinned, and answered, "I found out that I'll be running against you. I just want to spare myself from the humiliation of losing to you."_

_Hyunchul shook his head and said, "That's not enough of a reason. You have a party while I'm going to run independently. You have a more solid footing in this student council election. Besides, the campaign hasn't started yet. How can be so sure?"_

_Smiling at Hyunchul, Suhoon answered, "Because I know that you'll get everyone's votes the moment you finish your campaign speech. I've always known how charismatic you are, that's why...I'm so captivated by you."_

_Shocked, Hyunchul blushed at what the taller boy had said and looked away to hide his face._

_Suhoon smirked and brought his hand to Hyunchul's chin to make the smaller boy look at him in the eye again. "Don't look down, it doesn't suit you," he said as he took a step closer to Hyunchul._

_"What are you doing?" Hyunchul asked, panicking but still staying on his spot._

_"Nothing, just something that I've been thinking of doing ever since I laid my eyes on you," Suhoon answered in a whisper as he gently planted his lips on the smaller boy's._

* * *

_Even if I can't see you, I'm still with you_  
_Every time I think of you I'm like this_  
_I'm sitting beside you_  
_As time passes, I'll still be erasing_

* * *

Hyunchul stormed out of the classroom, infuriated. He wasn't the type of student who would rudely walk out of class. He didn't mean to be disrespectful toward his professor, but what just happened was something that he cannot deal with efficiently without lashing out verbally.

"Park Hyunchul!" a deep, raspy voice called out his name.

Instead of slowing down and turning back, Hyunchul only walked faster. He was already climbing down the stairs when a hand forcefully pulled him back.

"What do you want?!" Hyunchul snapped, glaring at the person who chased after him, which was the person he walked out on.

Woo Hyunmin took a step back, stunned at Hyunchul's outburst. "I...I just..." he stammered, nervously, "I want to...apologize..."

Every Wednesday, their Social Studies professor would conduct debates among his students regarding current issues. Just a moment ago, Hyunchul and Hyunmin were in the middle of one; they were debating about euthanasia. Hyunmin was on the affirmative position while Hyunchul was on the negative. They were already in the rebuttal when Hyunmin said something that made Hyunchul furious.

"Yes, euthanasia can be considered as an assisted suicide, but it's for the patient's own good," he countered against Hyunchul's argument, "this isn't about the patient's relatives and loved ones. If the doctors considered them, what would happen to the patient?" he continued, not knowing he already had Hyunchul backed against a wall, "Tell me, Mr. Park, how would you feel if you broke up with your girlfriend, but she forced you to stay with her? Won't that be unfair to you?"

"Why are you apologizing?" Hyunchul asked, looking away from Hyunmin.

"I...I don't know," Hyunmin admitted, making Hyunchul smirk, "I have a feeling that a hit a nerve or something...why else would you walk?" he quickly added, "I'm sorry if I offended you or...hurt you..."

"Hurt?" Hyunchul repeated, looking sharply at Hyunmin, "You can never hurt me because I'll never give you the right to do that. You may have won this time, but I swear the future debates will be mine."

* * *

_My tears will probably dry now_  
_They probably won't fall anymore_  
_However my deepening breathing_  
_Stops and falls into a slumber beside me_  
_I end up looking for you all day long_

* * *

Hyunchul pressed the doorbell of the house that he hadn't visited for eight months. He would love to visit sooner, but his family went to Seoul during the summer vacation, so he wasn't able to go back to Daegu. Fortunately, their college decided to participate in a two-week convention held in Daegu.

After a few seconds later, the front gate opened.

"Annyeonghaseyo, Mrs. Lee," Hyunchul greeted, bowing down, "it's nice to see you again."

"Hyunchul!" Mrs. Lee gasped in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for a two-week convention. I just arrived, so I have no schedule for the rest of the day...that's why I decided to drop by..." Hyunchul explained, smiling a little.

Mrs. Lee sighed and frowned at Hyunchul. "Forgive me, Hyunchul, but just leave," she told him, making Hyunchul confuse, "Suhoon's gone, Hyunchul...he died three months  
after you left..."

Hyunchul eyes widened from what the woman had told him. "That can't be true," he said, shaking his head in disbelief, "please, let me see him, Mrs. Lee."

Feeling sorry for the young boy, Mrs. Lee wrapped his arms around Hyunchul, and said, "I'm sorry, Hyunchul. We're so sorry...I know we should've told you, but we thought this was for the better..."

Hyunchul freed himself from Mrs. Lee's embrace, saying, "I don't believe any of this. This is a lie."

"Hyunchul –" Mrs. Lee was about to reason out when Hyunchul suddenly ran past her to get inside the house. She knew Hyunchul would go up to Suhoon's bedroom, hoping Suhoon would still be there. Heaving another sigh, Mrs. Lee closed their gate and followed Hyunchul inside the house. True enough, she found Hyunchul standing in the middle of Suhoon's room, which was still well-kept as if the owner just went out of the house for a while.

Looking at every inch of Suhoon's room, Hyunchul's tears began to fall and asked, "How...how did it happen, Mrs. Lee?"

"One afternoon, the nurse noticed his heart rate began to fluctuate, so we called an ambulance and brought him to the hospital," Mrs. Lee began as she leaned on the door, "his condition stabilized after and we thought that everything would be fine...he even opened his eyes on his third night at the hospital..."

"He opened his eyes?" Hyunchul asked, turning to Mrs. Lee.

Nodding her head, Mrs. Lee smiled and answered, "Yes, he did. We wished you were there to see it. You're the first person he looked for...I told him that you're in Seoul...that you're studying in Seoul-dae and he said 'Really? He made it?'...He smiled...he was happy for you..."

Hyunchul felt his knees grow weak after hearing what Mrs. Lee had said. He walked toward Suhoon's bed and sat down to support himself while Mrs. Lee sat beside him.

"I told him I'll call you so you can fly here right away, but he said he couldn't wait for you anymore..." Mrs. Lee continued, taking Hyunchul's hands, "he said he's very happy for you and that he loves you so much...he also said he's sorry for not being able to watch your graduation speech...and for not coming with you to Seoul-dae..."

"He heard all the things I told him?" Hyunchul said, smiling, "He was listening to me all along?"

Smiling amidst the tears, Mrs. Lee nodded her head, and said, "He also thanked you for bringing his notes and homework...but he apologized again for not being able to go through them..."

Hyunchul chuckled in between his sobs as he could imagine Suhoon, in a healthy condition, saying those words.

"After that, he told us how much we loved us and all of that...he thanked his father, especially, for not objecting his relationship with you..." Mrs. Lee added, smiling at the painful memory, "then he apologized to us...then he had a seizure...we had to step out and...and...that was it..."

"Why did no one tell me what happened?" Hyunchul asked, hurt.

Mrs. Lee cradled Hyunchul's face so he could look at her. "I'm sorry...I know we shouldn't have kept it from you..." she answered, wiping the tears from Hyunchul's eyes with her thumbs, "but you were doing so well in Seoul-dae...we and your parents decided not to tell you about it because we know you'll pack your things and come back here without any second thought."

* * *

_You might not be as warm as you used to be_  
_But that's my fate_

* * *

Hyunchul knocked on the door of the hotel room that he was sharing with Hyunmin for the convention. Hyunmin quickly opened the door and let out a relieved sigh. Leaving the door open for Hyunchul to step inside, Hyunmin began to rant out, "It's not my fault we're roomed together, and I know you hate me but, please, don't disappear without telling me where you're going! Hong-songsaeng-nim was after my ass the whole day because he wants to know where you went! He almost called the police to look for you!"

Guilty, Hyunchul stared at Hyunmin and apologized, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you, guys, worry."

"You know we're not supposed to wander off on our own, right? They told us that during our orientation!" Hyunmin added, angrily.

"I know! I'm sorry!" Hyunchul yelled back, trembling.

Startled, Hyunmin stared intently at Hyunchul's face and noticed how swollen Hyunchul's eyes were.

"Did something happen?" he asked, bothered.

"Nothing," Hyunchul answered as he went to the bathroom to wash his face.

"Have you been crying?" Hyunmin asked, following Hyunchul to the bathroom.

"I told you nothing happened," Hyunchul repeated, leaning over the sink as the water run down from the faucet, "I know this is selfish but...would it be alright if you could just go out with your friends and...leave me alone?"

Though confused at Hyunchul's request, Hyunmin nodded his head and left their shared hotel room.

* * *

_Even if I can't see you, I'm always right here_  
_Every time I think of you I'm like this_  
_I'm sitting beside you_  
_As times passes, I'll still be erasing_  
_Now it's so hard to endure_  
_Forgive me for forgetting you_

* * *

Hyunchul knelt in front of Suhoon's grave and placed the flowers he bought for his deceased lover while Mrs. Lee stood beside him. "I'll leave alone for a while, I'm sure you want some time alone with him," she said as Hyunchul looked up at her and nodded, "I'll wait for you in front of the cemetery."

As Mrs. Lee walked away, Hyunchul turned back to Suhoon's grave and stared at Suhoon's name. "I hate you..." he said as he traced Suhoon's name with his finger, "why didn't you wait for me?"

Tears began to form in his eyes once again, and Hyunchul quickly wiped them away. "After giving me a hard time, you just left me like that?" he continued, biting his lower lip to stop himself from shouting, "The least you could do was to wait for me...I deserve to see you even for one last time...I have the right to see you one last time...to talk to you one last time..." he went on, letting his tears fall down, "I thought when you wake up...you're going to hug and kiss me again...why didn't you do that? I want you to do that...even for one last time..."

Suddenly, the cold wind blew at the cemetery, making Hyunchul shiver. Sitting in a more comfortable position, Hyunchul brought his knees up to his chest and saw a black and red butterfly land on one of the flowers that Hyunchul bought. Hyunchul might have wished for miracles at one point of his life, but he still didn't believe in superstitions. However, his lonely heart was forcing his rational mind to believe that maybe old people were right that everyone's loved ones would usually take the form of the wind or butterflies to visit the people they left on Earth.

"I miss you too, Suhoon..." Hyunchul whispered, staring intently at the butterfly, "but I hope I won't miss you forever..."

* * *

_Even I hold you like this, I don't feel anything_  
_Are you no longer here?_  
_You've already left here but_  
_I can't turn back our separation that the heavens have blocked_  
_I'll leave you inside of my forgotten memories_

* * *

"Hyunmin, what are you doing here?" Hyunchul asked as he approached Mrs. Lee, who was sitting on a bench, talking to Hyunmin.

Mrs. Lee beamed at Hyunchul and said, "He followed you."

"What?" Hyunchul asked and looked at Hyunmin, who was rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Don't be angry at him," Mrs. Lee said as she stood up from the bench, "he was just worried about you because you didn't tell anyone that you're going to leave the hotel a while ago."

"I'm sorry," Hyunmin muttered, glancing nervously at Hyunchul.

"By the way, since he followed you all the way here, I decided to invite him with us," Mrs. Lee said, enthusiastically, catching Hyunchul off guard, "I miss the Chicken Picatta and the pasta in cream sauce you used to make for Suhoon before...I have the ingredients at home because I tried to make one, but cooking foreign dishes are not really for me. Would you cook for me, Hyunchul?"

Hyunchul agreed and, thus, he and Hyunmin went with Mrs. Lee. Once they were back to the Lee residence, Hyunchul went straight to the kitchen and began to cook Mrs. Lee's request. On the other hand, Mrs. Lee served Hyunmin a glass of orange juice in the living room.

"Your house is very cozy, Mrs. Lee," Hyunmin said as he took the glass of juice.

"Thank you, Hyunmin," Mrs. Lee replied, looking around her house, "my husband designed everything because he wants to feel comfortable whenever he comes home from work. It's too bad that he's on a business trip in Busan, he would really love to see Hyunchul once again."

"I can see a lot of Hyunchul's photos everywhere too, it seems as if you have two sons," Hyunmin commented as he stared at the photos at the side table. Noticing the picture Hyunmin was looking at, Mrs. Lee took it from the side table and handed it over to Hyunmin for him to have a better look. Hyunmin placed his beverage back on the tray and took the photo Mrs. Lee was handing him.

"It was taken on their eighteenth birthday. They have the same birthday..." Mrs. Lee said as Hyunmin noted the happy smiles of the two boys who have their heads leaning at each other, "Hyunchul's very precious to my son, so we accepted him in our family...besides, Hyunchul's a very nice boy, it's not hard to like him."

"You and your husband are such awesome people, other parents would disown their son if they found out that he's in a relationship with another boy," Hyunmin said, handing the photo back to Mrs. Lee.

"Well...it wasn't easy, but Suhoon was a very giving son, it would be selfish of us to take his happiness from him. Also, he already told us he's in love with Hyunchul even before he asked him out, his father accused him of being overconfident," Mrs. Lee told Hyunmin as she laughed at the memory while placing the photo back to its original place, "tell me, Hyunmin, how's Hyunchul at school?"

Clearing his throat, Hyunmin answered, "Well, he's very reserved. He kept to himself. If you didn't tell me Hyunchul grew up here, I would never know."

"I see..." Mrs. Lee muttered, frowning, "he wasn't like that before...Hyunchul loves being surrounded by people," she explained, smiling at the distant memory, "he was friends with almost everyone, just like a politician, according to Suhoon."

Hyunmin chuckled and said, "He must've been devastated with what happened to your son."

"He was...he certainly was..." Mrs. Lee replied as she remembered how Hyunchul shed tears while her son was brought into the operating room, "have you seen him speak in  
front of people?"

"You mean like a speech?" Hyunmin asked as Mrs. Lee nodded, "Yes, I did. Every Wednesday, we have these mock debates...then there's this one time that we have to make a persuasive speech on our English class."

Mrs. Lee nodded in understanding and asked, "How was he?"

"Oh! He's amazing!" Hyunmin exclaimed, smiling, "He has this charisma that would make everyone in the audience listen to him. I never once looked away from him whenever he's speaking in front."

Chuckling, Mrs. Lee said, "Suhoon first saw Hyunchul do a speech back in their junior high. It was for an inter-school declamation contest that he also joined. My son lost, but he came home as if he won. He kept on talking about Hyunchul."

"Your son was a huge fan," Hyunmin said, grinning.

"Yes, a die-hard fan, to be exact," Mrs. Lee said, laughing and looking intently at Hyunmin, "how about you? Aren't you a fan?"

Hyunmin's face suddenly turned serious as he knew what the woman was talking about.

"Don't deny it, Hyunmin," Mrs. Lee told him, smiling knowingly, "I hope you would be willing to wait for him."

Slowly returning the smile, Hyunmin gave a firm nod. "I'm a fan too, Mrs. Lee," he said, "and it makes me sad that I have no idea how I can reach out to him but after today...I feel as if I would already learn how..."

"Take care of him, alright?" Mrs. Lee requested, and Hyunmin nodded.

* * *

_Even if I can't see you, I'm always right here_  
_Every time I think of you I'm like this_  
_I'm sitting beside you_  
_As time passes, I'll still be erasing_  
_Now it's so hard to endure_  
_Forgive me for forgetting you_

* * *

"Aish, this kid," Mrs. Lee said as she saw Hyunchul preparing to wash the dishes after the delicious meal they had, "put those down, Hyunmin's already at the living room waiting for you."

"What? Why?" Hyunchul asked, confused, as Mrs. Lee pushed his hands on the faucet to clean them.

"What do you mean 'what' and 'why'?" Mrs. Lee replied as she grabbed a towel from the drawers to dry Hyunchul's hands, "it's getting late, you two should already go back to the hotel."

"Oh..."

Mrs. Lee put the towel aside and said, "I'm disappointed at you, Hyunchul. Hyunmin said you don't have friends. What happened to the Mr. Congeniality my son loves so much?"

Hyunchul didn't answer.

"Hyunchul... Suhoon's gone now, he may have lived a short life, but he was happy with it because you were there for him," Mrs. Lee said, looking endearingly at Hyunchul, "but you're still here, and though focusing on your studies is important, you need to meet new people. Live your life. You can't stay alone forever. Maybe you're managing it now, but someday you'll long for other people," she continued, sighing, "don't wait for that day because...you won't know if someone would be there waiting for you."

"I know what you're saying, Mrs. Lee," Hyunchul said, frowning, "but...when I left, I felt as if I lost my purpose to live...and now...especially now that Suhoon's already gone...I don't think–"

Mrs. Lee brought her hands to Hyunchul's arms and squeezed them reassuringly, saying, "My son caused you so much pain, I wish I can erase it all, but I'm not the right person to heal you. Hyunmin's a nice guy, and he seems to like you a lot."

Hyunchul widened his eyes at Suhoon's mother in shock. "What are you talking about, Mrs. Lee?" he asked, embarrassed.

"You may not have noticed because you're so absorbed in your little dark world, but he's been waiting," Mrs. Lee explained, smiling, "he seems to be waiting for a chance to enter your life...don't tell me you're just going to lock him outside. That would be a pity."

"But –"

"I'm not telling you to jump into another relationship, Hyunchul, though I think Hyunmin would really suit you," Mrs. Lee told the young boy, "I just want you to do what you do best, which is to make friends," she added, crossing her arms across her chest, "you can't mourn over Suhoon for the rest of your life. You have the right to be happy, Hyunchul, a lot of people out there will be willing to make you happy."

* * *

_Standing beside you as you sleep_  
_Wipe my tears as I close the door_  
_I'll always be by your side_

* * *

Hyunchul and Hyunmin entered their room after the awkward and silent trip back to the hotel. Exhausted from the stalking he did the whole day, Hyunmin jumped on his bed, facing down. On the other hand, Hyunchul sat on his bed and stared at his roommate. He knew he should say something to the other boy. Unfortunately, he seemed to have completely lost his social skills after avoiding people for eight months.

"I'm sorry if I stalked you," Hyunmin broke the ice as he turned to face Hyunchul, "I was just curious and worried...and a bit annoyed that you didn't tell me where you're going..." he explained, sighing, "I'm not saying that you should, but it's what our professors told us so...yeah..."

Removing his shoes, Hyunchul lied down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "I'm sorry too...I forgot I should've told you," he replied, apprehensively, "I'm also sorry about what happened that one Wednesday morning...I shouldn't have walked out...it was a debate, I shouldn't have been so emotional about it..."

Sitting up, Hyunmin took off his jacket and threw it on the side with the rest of his thing, saying, "Forget about that. I was an idiot that day...I was so desperate to show off because you were always so good. I wanted to show I could stand on the same level as you..."

"Mrs. Lee told me something a while ago..."

"Did she tell you that I like you?" Hyunmin asked, grinning.

Hyunchul slowly sat up and looked at Hyunmin directly in the eye and said, "Do you?"

"No," Hyunmin answered without any hesitations, making Hyunchul raise an eyebrow, "I liked you the moment I saw you, but when you stood up in front of the class and to speak...I was certain I was in love."

Hyunchul felt his heartbeat go faster at Hyunmin's confession. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out from it.

"What you're going through right now isn't easy," Hyunmin said as he stood up to sit beside Hyunchul, "I can take advantage of you, but I'm not going to do that...I'm going to wait until you're ready. For now, I just want to be your friend," he added as Hyunchul listened intently to him, "you can rely on me...you can trust me, Hyunchul...you don't have to be on your own..."

Hyunchul felt his emotions swirl inside him as he felt the sincerity of those words. Smiling genuinely for the first time in a long time, Hyunchul said, "Thank you..."

"It's nice seeing you smiling like that..." Hyunmin commented, gazing lovingly at Hyunchul. Gently and carefully, Hyunmin brought his hand up to touch Hyunchul's face. He felt how Hyunchul froze under his touch and quickly withdrew his hand.

"Sorry," Hyunmin apologized, smiling sheepishly.

Hyunchul chuckled and scooted closer to erase the distance between them for a bit. "I can't promise you I'm worth the wait," he said, gazing at Hyunmin's eyes to see any sign of wavering.

"That's okay," Hyunmin told him.

Scurrying closer to Hyunmin, Hyunchul leaned his head on Hyunmin's shoulder and wrapped his arms around the boy's waist. "Is it okay to do this?" he asked as tears began to fill his eyes once again, "I want to hold onto someone right now..."

"Would you also like if someone holds you right now?" Hyunmin asked, feeling the smaller boy shake against him.

Hyunchul nodded.

Understanding, Hyunmin wrapped his strong arms around Hyunchul and let the boy cry onto him. He knew that Hyunchul was already tired – emotionally tired. He could imagine how many nights he had cried without anyone knowing. Hyunmin hoped to put an end to those nights and he was thankful Hyunchul finally opened the door for him.

* * *

_Standing beside you as you sleep_  
_Wipe my tears as I close the door_

* * *

**END**

* * *


End file.
